A more incompetent service than Fifth Third bank!

I thought things couldn’t get much worse with the state of Banking but today I got a letter to my US address from Abbey saying that they can’t change the address to my US address! They need a notarised copy of my passport sent to them. The last time I spoke to them on the phone they only wanted a photocopy of the passport. I thought the easiest way around this would be to just close the account but it seems that despite having a valid login to my Abbey account, I don’t have any accounts attached to the account to make any payments from it. They don’t have 24 hour banking via phone, there is no email address to contact them and then they have the cheek to suggest that I might want to use their offshore banking facilities!