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Diagonal Hatching & Postmodernism

"What on earth is Diagonal Hatching?", I hear you ask. Something to do with mathematically gifted hens?

Well, if you don't know, then you are clearly not alone. Apparently, half of the population of Sandbach don't know either.

Here is a diagram to enlighten you:

Any clearer?

For those of you still stumped, here is the official explanation taken from Rule 109 of the Highway Code.

Areas of white diagonal stripes or chevrons painted on the road. These are to separate traffic lanes or to protect traffic turning right.
· If the area is bordered by a broken white line, you should not enter the area unless it is necessary and you can see that it is safe to do so.
· If the area is marked with diagonal stripes and bordered by solid white lines, you should not enter it except in an emergency.
· If the area is marked with chevrons and bordered by solid white lines you MUST NOT enter it except in an emergency.
Laws MT(E&W)R regs 5,9,10 & 16, MT(S)R regs 4,8,9 & 14, RTA sect 36 & TSRGD 10(1)

In the last three days, I have had to gently explain the correct usage of such 'diagonal hatching' on two occasions to somewhat less enlightened motorists whilst approaching the main traffic lights at Sandbach. Neither motorist was overly keen on my legal and safe arrival in front of them just before the junction to turn right toward Sandbach Heath. Perhaps they were peturbed at my downward pointing and friendly smiling through my open driver's-side window while I cut in front of their vehicles, which were moving slowly and illegally in a queue across the said hatching.

As you know, postmodern relativism scoffs at the idea of absolute truth, and at the concept of rules that may be universally applied. That may account for the honking of Jeep Woman as I glided effortlessly into pole position at the traffic lights. Being a gentle and mild character, such baiting would normally run like water from the proverbial duck.

Hmmm. Not this time.

Dialogue:

Jeep Woman: "What the **** do you think you are doing?"

Pencils: "I'm sorry my love, do you not own a copy of the Highway Code?"

Jeep Woman: "What are you talking about?"

Pencils: "Crossing those diagonal lines in the road is illegal. You aren't supposed to be there. The turning lane that I have just used is the way you turn right at these traffic lights"

Jeep Woman: "Don't be stupid! Everybody does it! You've got to do it to get in line - otherwise it takes ages to turn!"

Pencils: "It didn't take me ages. It took me no time. Perhaps that's because I followed the rules of the road and you didn't? If everyone just did what they liked, we'd never get anywhere, would we? Perhaps I could send you a copy of the Highway Code for you to flick through?"

Jeep Woman: "Just get back in your car. The lights have changed to green. Aren't you going to go through them?"

Pencils: "No, I don't think so. Seeing as how we are all deciding our own rules of the road today, I think I will wait here until the lights are red again - then I will go through. Hmmm?"

Judges 21: 25 - "In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes."

Ring any bells?

Posted by pencils at July 10, 2004 03:41 PM